We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess... "Will you marry me?"
The Princess said "NO!"
And the Prince lived happily ever after, and rode motorcycles, and went fishing and hunting, and played golf, and dated women half his age, and smoked cigars, and drank beer and Scotch, and had loads of money in the bank, and left the toilet seat up.
Bird Dog dear ... You obviously have a vivid imagination. As a practical suggestion, annex one of the bathrooms in your luxurious house as your own, and keep it locked. The females in your house are obviously trying to bring a little order out of chaos. Guys like a certain amount of chaos. I know. I've been married to one for forty years or so.
Besides being well-trained (married for 25+ years, raised 2 daughters), an entirely practical reason for closing both the seat and lid applies to those who have "beasts" also sharing living quarters; my dog seems to prefer toliet water to the fresh water I place in his bowl 1-2 times a day, so...