We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
The case of Army Pvt. Bradley Edward Manning, who insists his name is now Chelsea Elizabeth Manning because he wants to spend his 35 years behind bars as a woman, just won’t go quietly into the Fort Leavenworth prison night.
Meanwhile, Fox News host Gregg Jarrett said on air — and in response to the growing pressure from various entities who are sympathetic to Manning — during a segment a few days ago, “I don’t do what Bradley Manning wants me to do.”
Neither does CNN. Executives announced its reporters and anchors would continue to call Manning a “he” because the soldier, who’s in a Fort Leavenworth military prison for releasing classified documents to WikiLeaks, is not actually taking hormone therapy or undergoing any medical procedure that would change his gender.
+1 for Dylan Thomas reference.
The post is on The Washington Times site, and although they didn't mention themselves in the article, the above illustrates they're not jumping on board either.
Say, speaking of gender-based issues, it appears one of those "black" guys you read about named something like Marty Louie King has been in the news lately. He apparently made some famous speech about "I'll have an ice cream", which I'm sure was appreciated by dairy manufacturers throughout the country. If I'm reading this right, he was actually the founder of the Democratic Party.
People have been writing articles recently on "What Dr. King would think if he were alive today". I think my answer would be, he'd throw up.
As I understand it, there's a large country to the north of us called something like "Canadoi"? "Kanaday"? Something like that. Anyway, they're pretty proud up there because they won the War of 1812. In other words, what you may have learned in school about its outcome is purely a demographic issue, open to interpretation.
Sadly, though, like we have our anti-America rebels down here, they, too, have the same type of degenerates allowed to speak out due to that silly 'freedom of speech' business, like this treasonous subversive: The Real Legacy of 1812? It Never Happened Again
Finally, on a fun, upbeat note, were you aware a million Muslims are going to march on Washington to celebrate 9/11 and complain about how bitterly and angrily they're treated (oh, and don't forget "constantly spat upon") here in America?
Well, as a means of showing their support for this noble cause, my buddies Jimbo and Shorty and the rest of the boys have offered to pitch in.
Say, I have a rather delicate question for you guys:
How many push-ups can you do?
And I don't mean those tough chin-has-to-touch-the-ground military type; more like 'camp style' push-ups, where you go down most ways then back up.
How about 25?
And you're not even breathing hard?
The point, of course, is that it's one thing to sit there in your elite ivory tower, claiming how America should get off its collective butt and start exercising and eating better...
Finally! One thing we can all agree on is that last-minute Christmas shopping is a real drag. The crowds, the noise, the confusion, the cold sleet or snow because you're in the middle of goddamn winter — in short, it sucks.
So, while we'd all appreciate just a few more days in the shopping season to help us out, the hands of the retailers are tied since there's an unwritten rule that they can't swamp the land with Christmas stuff until the official 'Thanksgiving timeline' is over.
However, with the help of the Department of Interior collaborating with the National American Turkey Council, they came up with a very clever solution:
For someone who grew up in an era when it was strictly verboten for businesses to put up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving, it's been somewhat sad to see the commercial greed seep forth a little earlier every year since. I believe these days the decorations are going up just after the 4th of July. I hear Easter's the next goal.
In the writing biz, this is known as when fantasy meets reality.
As BD mentioned a while back, he and the missus are doing their usual summer fling in Italy in a few weeks, so I'll be saving up goodies and not posting much in the interim. I'll have some pretty interesting pieces, though, including an AGW post with a very unique viewpoint, a tutorial on how to make one of those 'slideshow songs' where the pics line up with the lyrics, how to type "I ♥ Maggie's Farm" with a few quick keystrokes, and it only took two hours and 20 years of online expertise but I finally tracked down a copy of the 1974 National Lampoon Stereo Test And Demonstration Record on a backwater P2P site for your listening and stereo testing enjoyment.
On the health front, I just took my blood pressure and it was 135 (high figure), and that's without taking any blood pressure medicine for four days. That's still slightly above average, but compared to its peak of 195 a few months ago, it'll do.
The one main difference has been an almost salt-free diet. I got so curious about the whole salt issue that I purposefully didn't change anything else (exercise, smoking, coffee, etc) just to see what would happen. Despite claims that "salt does not cause these things", I must beg to differ. The blood pressure medicine initially knocked it down to non-life-threatening levels, then I halved the dosage a few weeks ago, then decided to see what would happen if I stopped it altogether four days ago. The results speak for themselves. I'll go back to halving it and get a fresh prescription when I visit the GP in a few weeks.
I also still owe the hospital over a thousand bucks and am desperately low on cash (as I've been since this nightmare started), so if anyone would care to throw a few doubloons into my relief fund, it would certainly be appreciated.
In other news, I heard via email the other day another by-now-typical domain name heartbreak story:
(the names have been changed to protect the innocent, if any)
Doc -
Well, craparoonie! You would think that "James Morgan Downing" would be an obscure enough name that it would be available, but not only was "jamesdowning.com" and "jamesmdowning.com" taken, but so was the whole thing, "jamesmorgandowning.com"! I ended up taking "james-downing.com", but I'm not happy about it. On the other hand, I suppose I should be grateful that at least it was available!
Indeed.
As I've noted before, once a domain is gone, it's pretty much gone forever because the domain harvesters will snatch it up automatically within milliseconds of it coming back on the market. They figure if somebody wanted it once, then somebody else will want it again one day, at which point they'll be happy to lease it to you for the rest of eternity — unless you want to buy it outright for a mere $4,995, of course.
The bottom line is, if you ever might want your own domain, even if just to post pics of the grandkids on in twenty years, now's the time to get it. At $5.95/mo, it's the cheapest bill in the In Box, and you don't have to actually build a site or anything to hold it.
As for grabbing it, I highly recommend BlueHost. It's run by a nice conservative company based in Provo, Utah. The CEO does a twice-yearly email round-up and the guy's hysterical, always throwing zingers and barbs at Washington and our meddling Congress. I have some tips on domain names here.
For your visual delight, a blast from the past; the incredible footage of that airliner landing on that highway out in L.A. a few years ago. The fact that a TV news crew happened to be right there when it happened was a remarkable stroke of luck, not to mention catching on film the horror of the harrowing landing, itself.
When it comes to writing, I have a rule I made up a long time ago that's worked to perfection over the years, so I thought I'd pass it along.
It's very simple, and you wordsmiths out there might already employ it subconsciously.
I had a perfect example just the other day, which prompted me to write this piece. I had written in a post:
Try telling it to the F.C.C.
I pondered whether it was a common enough acronym to leave out the periods, like 'NASA' and 'NBC', but I knew it was one of those things the 3-Notice Rule would catch, so I left them in. This was the first 'notice'.
I finished up the post and hit the 'Save' button, then the 'Preview' button to proofread it. I got to the above line and hesitated, thinking it might look better without the periods, then read on. This was the second 'notice'. I knew what was coming, but rules are rules.
Then I posted the article and gave it one more proofread (the actual Web page is wider than the editor, so things look a tad different) and noticed it again — that is, the sentence just didn't flow like it should have — and that was it.
I popped open the editor and changed it to:
Try telling it to the FCC.
Then I read it through again and this time I flew right through the line without hesitation.
I guess you could say I'm quantifying a bit of common sense here. By making it a 'rule', though, you're forced to stop at that third 'notice' and change the damn thing, no matter how trivial it is. In other words, yes, it's a pain to open the editor just to change one tiny little thing, but this is about readability — which overrides everything else — including our own inherent laziness. So, if the 3-Notice Rule catches it, you're obligated to fix it right then and there — or throw the damn rule out.
The votes are in, the die is cast, the line's been drawn, the ball's in play and the table is set.
Thanks to commenter Walt Moffett, it appears a free player called VLC is the ticket to watching video on a Mac. An upgrade to VLC provides two key things:
— Stock programs that come with an OS are traditionally fairly featureless. In the world of Windows, the Paint program would be considered a very basic picture editor, Wordpad a very basic word processing program, and Media Player a very basic multimedia player. I don't know what the Mac equivalents are, but assuming its version of Quicktime is the same as I have on my PC, it leaves a lot to be desired. When it comes to features and overall handling, a program like VLC is a big step up.
As an example of 'handling', if you want to pause a video in Media Player using the keyboard, you have to use both hands to hit Ctrl-P, which isn't so easy to do in a darkened room. With the program I use, Media Player Classic, you slap the space bar. VLC is the same.
As an example of 'features', if I want to save a particular spot using Media Player Classic as a picture, I pause the video and select 'Save Image' from the menu. Neither Quicktime or Media Player have this option. VLC does.
— As I noted yesterday, a stock Mac can't play the proprietary Windows format Windows Media Video (WMV), and a PC can't play the proprietary Apple format Quicktime (QT). And neither can play a few 'exotic' formats such as Flash (FLV), RealMedia (RM), not to mention SWF, OGM, MKV, TS and VOB, all of which are video formats currently in use on the Internet today, either playable or downloadable.
The hitch is, while both machines are capable of playing FLV vids like on YouTube just fine, because they're providing the player, if you download the vid to your machine using a Firefox plugin, you're out of luck unless you upgrade the player.
So, because it offers better handling, more features and accepts far more video formats, VLC is a smart move up. VideoLAN, the company, has been around since I was a video god in the late 90's and early 00's and VLC has always had it share of devotees, like the way I've always favored Media Player Classic.
The free download is here. If you're on a Windows machine and want to upgrade your player, I recommend this.
My question for the group is, does installing just the player also take care of the browser, or does the 'Web plugin' also have to be installed? And is this true for both Safari and Firefox?
If you want to give it a go, first download and install the player, then try out the test link below. If it doesn't work, install the plugin, try again, then let me know the scoop in the comments.
If you have both browsers, give them both a shot. It might be that Mac treats them differently, since Safari is in-house, or it might be that Firefox already has the proper 'MIME type' since it's not restricted by Mac standards and is just awaiting a player it can access.
This is a clip from the fun Bruce Willis movie The Fifth Element. It's in my art gallery's Bag O' Clips area under "Great One-Liners". Double-click on the player after the clip starts to expand it to full-screen size.
Once we get the plugin question answered, and assuming there aren't any unforeseen problems, I'll then write an 'official' Computin' Tip which I'll then link to in future posts, slap on the main Computin' Tips index and the Bag O' Clips page.
And t'anks for the continuing help. We'll get this rascal nailed down.
Someone once mentioned in the comments that there was some free plugin or add-on for Macs that would allow them to view streaming WMV video files, which is a Windows format that's not playable on a stock Mac.
Similarly, a stock Windows machine can't play the Apple streaming format, Quicktime. Two decades on and these two behemoths never have resolved the issue.
Result? Adobe stepped in with its cross-platform Flash format and today both Quicktime and WMV have been relegated to the dust bin of history.
You snooze, you lose.
There are, however, still a bunch of excellent WMV vids out there, so if anyone has the answer to this ancient riddle, please let me know in the comments. I'll then do a fresh post with your name in lights (unless you decline because of shyness or fear of how it might be interpreted if it shows up on your résumé) and we'll have others download & test it, just to make sure it's OS-friendly.
If you're looking for test clips, all of the vids in the Bag O' Clips area of my Art Gallery are in WMV format due to quality issues. Pound for pound, bitrate for bandwidth, WMV is much better than the Flash format, FLV. All the rest of the site's clips are in FLV format, but I wanted to keep that area special.
In honor of the cool new pic Bird Dog chose for the banner:
Showboat comin' up the river See her lanterns flicker in the gentle breeze I can hear the crickets singin' in the evenin' Old Dixie Lily moving past the Cypress trees.
My little boat, she rocks easy I've been catchin' catfish in the creek all day Oh, and I've never seen ladies like those on the big boats Must be fancy breedin' lets you live that way.
Dixie Lily, chuggin' like a grand old lady Paddles hittin' home in the noonday sun Ploughin' through the water with your whistles blowin' Down from Louisiana on the Vicksburg run.
Papa says that I'm a dreamer Says them mosquitoes a'bit me one too many times Oh, but I never get lonesome livin' on the river Watchin' old Lily leave the world behind.
While the Anthropogenic Global Warming and Natural Global Warming camps have been filling the airwaves with their usual bickering lately, and certainly the Anthropogenic Chlorofluorocarbonic Warming contingent is trying to stay in the news, the Natural Global Cooling people have been left out — if you'll pardon the expression — in the cold.
In case you're new to the global climate debate and haven't heard of the dangers of NGC, you'd better sit your butt right down and get caught up to date.
And what those scoffing 'deniers' out there are missing is that we're already fighting the battle on the northern front as the ice sheet moves slowly and inexorably southward. This was in Flagville, North Dakota, just last week:
"It sounds like a train!"
What she's hearing is the low-frequency crackling vibrations as the top 6" of soil turns to permafrost for the next 10,000 years.
This was also fairly telling at the 5:16 mark:
"It's piling up, because the house is stopping it from moving."
(10 seconds later)
"Oh, my God, their door's in! It just busted through a door over here, all the way through — the door's caving! Look at that, it's going right through their goddamned house!"
Such is the raw, destructive power of Natural Global Cooling.
Well, as if we needed any further proof after that video, here's the latest on the NGC front:
Normally the high Arctic has about 90 days above freezing. This year there was less than half that.
The numbers don't lie, folks. Disregard the facts at your peril.
This also might be why I'm living in the Florida Keys; Florida being projected to be the last state to have unfrozen summers by 2160. It has something to do with the geography but southern California and southern Texas are scheduled to go decades before that. The water barrier between the Keys and the mainland is also supposed to slow it down, so we've got a number of factors going for us down here.
A couple of people asked in my recent barrage of 'NCIS' posts how to port the videos to their TV, and since Google has just broken new ground in the area, I thought I'd slap together an overview.
There are a number of factors in play; price, difficulty/ease of setup, difficulty/ease of use, software features, extra goodies like a remote, and location of the computer & TV.
Probably the main factor is the location of the two units. The flat-out easiest routine is to just run video and audio cables directly to the TV or controller box, with the only inconvenience being that you'd have to dash back to the computer to start, end or pause a clip. But if you're just playing one long movie, no big deal.
Despite the way you're sitting there on the edge of your seat in vibrant anticipation of what's coming next, it's probably best we dip below the fold for the remainder. There are some technical terms coming up and we wouldn't want to unsettle the children.
Sitting down? Already eaten a little something today? I want to make sure you've got the stomach to witness what you might later describe as the most horrific display of racism you've ever seen:
Like you, I was shocked into silence. I opened my mouth to respond to the horror I'd just witnessed, yet no words sprang forth.
Likewise, I'm sure you sat there, jaw agape, thinking, Huh? WTF? I don' get it!!"
A CNBC reporter is under fire for using the phrase "chink in the armor" during a Tuesday discussion of Wendi Deng's pending divorce from News Corp and 21st Century Fox CEO Rupert Murdoch.
The comments by CNBC's Robert Frank drew a critical response from the Asian American Journalists Association, which condemned the statements as "offensive" and "inappropriate."
You'll notice they used the clumsy word 'inappropriate' instead of the time-honored 'insensitive', but they're new to this. They'll learn quickly enough.
As we noted a few days ago in Team Asia Drops The Ball, these are exciting times for Asians worldwide as they soar to new heights breaking new ground in uncharted waters.
As both the Asiatic Anti-Defamation League and the National Association for the Advancement of Yellow-Colored People swing into full gear, there'll be nothing but lucrative lawsuit settlements and the admiration of their peers — that is, the other victim groups — in the future for these groundbreaking pioneers using this previously untapped resource.
And, as 200 years of suppressed, rabid anti-Asianism comes boiling to the surface, you'd certainly expect to see the occasional "racist song!" headline, like we do now when some songwriter inadvertently uses the term "niggardly" or "Jew's harp".
But the most racist song in history? That's how far these up-and-comers have already advanced.
The crap-tastic, Sugar Ray–esque L.A. band really performs a song, "Asian Girlz," with the following lyrics: Korean barbecue / Bitch I love you / I love your creamy yellow thighs / Ooh your slanted eyes.
We still think it's some kind of a joke. A very sick and tasteless joke.
This is, of course, what's so wrong with today's Political Correctness. Evenmentioning the attributes of a people puts the stamp of Racist across one's forehead.
Having learned this valuable lesson, I dashed back to the first site and wrote:
So, let me see if I've got this straight.
If I write a song about an English girl and refer to her "creamy white thighs" and "beautiful blue eyes", it's quite possibly the most racist song ever written.
If I write a song about a black girl and refer to her "creamy dark thighs" and "deep brown eyes", it's quite possibly the most racist song ever written.
Likewise, if I write a song about an Asian girl and refer to her "creamy yellow thighs" and "exotic slanted eyes", then that, too, is quite possibly the most racist song ever written.
So we welcome our Asian brothers and sisters to the exciting, lucrative world of grievance and victimization, and wish them eminent success as they brave the waters of this new and bountiful course as they seize control of their shared destiny with other worldwide victims in bringing to light the New World Order where no one will ever feel offended again.
Well, it looks like Bird Dog's having a good time taking a few days off to finally catch the riveting last and final season of 'All My Children'.
I couldn't believe Melissa turned out to be Harry's long-lost sister from his mother's fifth marriage to her second cousin on her father's side! This whole thing is just tearing my emotions apart!
Finally! After all the money we've thrown into the Defense Department, it's nice to see them actually doing a little defense for once, rather than all that 'offensive defense' they're always doing overseas. As this 'comfort blanket' eventually covers and protects the entire nation against attacks from British, French and North Korean missile attacks, we can all sleep more soundly knowing that our 'big brother' is watching over us.
In international news, those clever Israelis pulled another fast one as they snuck a spy (or 'bird' in Mideast lingo) into Turkey and then got him back out on a legal technicality when he obviously should have been put up against a wall and shot for the spy he is.
You'd think Turkish officials would have at least worked out a prisoner exchange.
In late night television news, there's an interesting article on Jay Leno's impending retirement here. As you might have seen, he's come out with a number of Obama zingers in the past few months — quite a change from the past — so maybe the author's onto something when he says:
I will not be surprised if he pops up in some way in late-night television — possibly on Fox.
While there have certainly been the occasional big band orchestras that played together into their dotage, none of them ever pranced madly about the stage to the adulation of millions of screaming fans around the world while actually in said dotage.
In yet more good news, the movement to turn northern Colorado into the 51st state is making headway:
More than four dozen people showed up Thursday at the first public meeting to discuss a proposal to form a 51st state. Nearly all of them said they support secession.
More than four dozen! When you see this kind of groundswell support, you know you're getting in touch with the people's true wants and needs.
And those kooky kids in Hollywood are at it again. First Hitler, then Chavéz, then...
Every time Hollywood lets costs get completely out of hand, something comes along to save it. In the early 1980s it was videotapes, in the 1990s it was the DVD market. Now it’s China, but unlike the home-video market, China makes specific political demands on films. If “WWZ” is any indication, simply removing negative implications about China isn’t enough: The studios have to go out of their way to paint China in a flattering light.
Well, at least this means we won't be hearing any more of those tired "Jews are running Hollywood" stories.
In Dire Global Warming (DGW) news, I'm sure you've seen this terrible truth spread across the news sites recently:
I tracked down a handful of sites that had the article and left this in the comments:
Boy, I'll say! Every time I see one of those fake global warming articles, it makes my blood boil!
So I'm living proof the article is spot on in its analysis.
Lastly, I'm going to end on some really horrific news, figuring that the rest of your day will be much rosier after reading it since emotionally there won't be anywhere to go but back up.
Given what a splendid job California-bashing sites like Maggie's Farm have done in indoctrinating its readers into believing everyone in CA is a drooling, frothing-at-the-mouth liberal and that you pray nightly for the Big One to come along and drop the whole thing into the ocean, it will come as a severe shock to learn that California might actually have some value after all:
If California were to disappear, what would the American diet be like?
Expensive and grainy. California produces a sizable majority of many American fruits, vegetables, and nuts: 99 percent of artichokes, 99 percent of walnuts, 97 percent of kiwis, 97 percent of plums, 95 percent of celery, 95 percent of garlic, 89 percent of cauliflower, 71 percent of spinach, and 69 percent of carrots (and the list goes on and on).
As cruel and horrific as this news is, I figured you'd rather hear it from me than see it splashed across some left-wing site as further proof of the right wing propaganda machine failing once again in its daunting task. Last week they lost the Bible, food stamps and Planned Parenthood — and now this.
But Bird Dog will be back tomorrow and I'm sure these horror stories will end.
Does the name 'John McCain' mean anything to you guys? It rings a bell but I just can't place it. Wasn't he Sarah Palin's long-lost step-dad? Anyway, he's one of those Congresscritters and he's decided it would be best if we stopped using dollar bills and started using dollar coins, instead.
And it appears he's got his thumb on the pulse of the nation:
If this all sounds vaguely familiar, this the third time in recent years that some Congresscritter has gotten this particular hair up his ass. It'll hopefully end in the same resounding defeat the first two measures did. As far as I know, they actually did start printing the first time, but the indoctrination program support never materialized.
Below is my original article during the first go-'round.
I might also note that I solved the problem.
The Valued Maggie's Readership™ would expect no less.
Because of the media, we tend to focus on Congress as the people spending all of our hard-earned tax doubloons, and we tend to forget that there are scads of government agencies out there wasting money by the crateful.
Literally, in this case.
This is the new U.S. dollar coin:
If you would be so kind, our government would like you to use these new dollar coins instead of dollar bills.
Yes, you read that right.
And would you like to know just why you're going to do this?
To save the planet.
To continue sinking into the deep abyss of eternal madness, please...
In my post honoring Gwyneth Paltrow, World's Most Beautiful Woman, I included pictures of some other famous women for comparison.
A commenter called the following a "hag":
He also called this a "hag":
Well, in the latest exciting news from the Hag Front, I'm pleased to announce we have a new entry in this most select of fields:
What's beyond scrumptious?
Her name is Camilla Belle. Or, as I prefer to call her, "The future Mrs. Dr. Mercury". She's appeared in about twenty films, although the only one I recognized on the list was Steven Seagal's 'The Patriot'.
That's about as adorable as it gets without actually being illegal. Even back then,she had that elusive it.
Her Wikipedia page is here, her IMDb page is here. I'd never heard of her until she popped up in some slideshow I was watching.
If you're trying to reduce the incidence of rape of military women, importing a bunch of gays sounds like just the ticket! And that, friends, isculture change.
In the 'Scratching Head' department, we have this:
So, just to get this straight, the winner gets death?
By the way, speaking of your probably-eminent death, in case you've been worried about that MERS virus that's sweeping the globe and is about a week away from stopping by your neighborhood, these two articles should clear things right up:
And Glenn Reynolds of PJ Media has shed a little light on the subject of armed domestic drones and how we should view them.
“The FBI does not use (unmanned aerial vehicles) to conduct ‘bulk’ surveillance or to conduct general surveillance not related to an investigation or assessment,” Kelly wrote.
Hmm.
I think we can safely infer that "Hmm" to mean he doesn't really trust their word.
Uh, buddy, if those scientists had the slightest idea of the names we usually call them, they'd fall to their knees in gratitude for only being called boffins.
Finally, turning to the horrific side of life, a drawbridge wouldn't open the other day, stranding drivers for, as the article states, "almost 45 minutes." When this kind of horror strikes an innocent populace, you can just bet that heads will roll.
And look how they zero right in on the exact problem:
Engineers now know why it happened. The weather affected the electronics.
"Circuit breaker, relay switches, wires are all effected by the elements,
moisture, heat, vibration, barometric pressure," says Virginia Department of
Transportation bridge engineer Nick Roper.
And you think, gosh, if only there was some kind of modern science, like maybe the kind of advanced technology we'll have when we finally put a man on the moon some day, that could be used to prevent such tragedies in the future.
I hear that new-fangled "insulated wire" looks promising. And that new "silicone sealant" isn't being called "the wonder glue of the 70's" for no reason.
First off, in case you missed it a few weeks ago, here's the seriously hilarious screw-up by an Oakland TV station after the Asiana crash. The info actually came from an intern at the NTSB, so the station never questioned it and, simply because it went right on the air, no one ever actually pronounced the names out loud beforehand.
Other than that, as the saying goes, the story was accurate.
The Asians broke a sacred trust last week. We notice that there's a million and one special interest groups constantly lobbying for gays, blacks, Jews, women, American Indians, and any other 'victim group' worth its weight in grievance.
But not Asians.
There's no 'Asian Caucus' in Congress. There's no 'Asian Pride Month' or 'Asian Anti-Defamation League' or 'Asian Feminist Lobby'. Asians simply aren't into that whole 'offended', 'insensitive', routine the other groups are.
On Monday, Asiana Airlines confirmed that it will seek legal recourse against Oakland’s KTVU after the station used ethnically and racially insensitive—and inaccurate—“names” to identify the crew aboard Flight 214
“Those names were not only wrong, but so grossly offensive that it’s hard for us at the Asian American Journalists Association to fathom how those names made it on the broadcast.”
While the apologies may have been accepted by some, many feel the damage has already been inflicted, as demonstrated by Asiana’s plans to file suit against KTVU to “strongly respond to its racially discriminatory report,” according to an airline spokesperson.
As I noted in Meaningless Words, the word 'racist' is about the most misused and meaningless word in the language today. In this case, Koreans aren't any more of a 'race' — at least according to the definition we've been using for the past 10,000 years — than Scots and Irishmen are.
But the real joke here is that the fake names are Chinese in derivation, not Korean. So shouldn't it be the Chinese suing the TV station?
As it turned out, they axed the suit a day later. But what we note is just how the race-grievance leftie sites phrased it:
Hey, at least Politico didn't use the word 'racist' in the headline, right? Maybe they understand. Or, maybe not:
Asiana Airlines has decided not to sue a local TV station over a broadcast in which the station falsely reported racist and offensive names for the pilots in the the airline’s crash landing in San Francisco, according to reports Wednesday.
They were fake Chinese names. Seriously, that's pretty funny. The real icing on the cake would be to find out the NTSB intern was Japanese.
From the first article, it did get one thing partially right:
Members of AAJA also called for “caution” in coverage of the Asian community and Asian culture, pointing out several reports that suggest that “a defect in Korean culture” contributed to the crash—something the group says there is no proof of.
It took about nine video clips and a thousand words of text but I managed to confirm that in Culture in the Cockpit. The part they got right is that this isn't a Korean problem.
It's an Asian problem.
As I noted in the piece, there have been a number of Japanese and Chinese flights where "not willing to speak up" was a BIG DEAL by the time the dust settled.
Literally, in some cases.
On a grander scale, this is also a humanistic problem, and one magnified in countries that have a tradition of Air Force jocks going into the airline industry such as Columbia, Egypt and Russia, but Asia is where the "don't question authority" mindset is particularly ingrained.
"Hi. My camper's getting kind of old and I've been thinking of replacing it. The one criteria I have is that the hitch have a real good turning radius. That's always been the biggest problem, maneuvering in tight spaces."
"I see. What turning radius does your present rig have?"
"Only about seventy-five degrees. I'm always afraid of the hitch binding up and actually breaking something."
"Yes, that's always been the problem with those old-fashioned types of hitches."
"What do you mean? What's the turning radius of your model?"
As we see more and more of the first type of headline over the coming years, bear in mind that the House is Republican-controlled, so be careful when pointing the finger of blame as to why these run-amok agencies aren't being slapped down.
Pic: If I'm not mistaken, that's the same poster I saw back in the 70's when Aldous Huxley's 'Brave New World' and George Orwell's '1984' became required reading for concerned citizens everywhere.
But we laughed and laughed. The government, watching your every single move? How absurd! Ha-ha-ha!
A Republican lawmaker has introduced legislation that would block funding to schools that prohibit children from playing with imaginary guns.
Rep. Steve Stockman, R-Texas, says the Student Protection Act aims to stop the enforcement of policies that "punish innocent children" by cutting funds to schools that abuse "zero tolerance" weapons policies.
It probably won't get anywhere, but that's the nicest thing I've seen Congress attempt in about a decade. The entire situation has literally entered the realm of the insane.
Speaking of 'insane', it's one thing if some podunk state thousands of miles away stomps its foot and says 'screw you' to federal drug laws by legalizing marijuana.
But when it happens in the Fed's own back yard, it makes the whole system look like something out of a comic book.
Probably about three doors down from the DEA. I hear they have lunch together every day.
Women In The News!
As our female readership knows, the wise and kindly Dr. Mercury is always praising their virtues and striving to help them better their lives in the midst of a cruel, wretched, male-dominated world. Recent examples are here and here.
Long live pleasant, smart women!
I'm just that kinda guy.
Today's first Woman In The News is Kirstie Alley advocating something I'm pretty sure everyone in the universe can get behind:
For maximum efficiency, I recommend the Louisville Slugger 'Billy Martin' edition:
Keep it well oiled between uses so it doesn't develop small cracks due to humidity changes.
Next up,did you hear about the horrible incident singer Beyonce had with an unruly fan? A couple of big body guards showed up and, while a tremendous struggle ensued, that fan never had a chance. But, through it all, Beyonce kept her cool, the sign of a true professional:
And she never missed a note, even when confronted by an unruly fan.
And that, friends, is professionalism.
Bad News For Conservatives Dept
Yes, very bad news, so if you happen to know any, it might be best if they left the room for a few minutes. We wouldn't want any hurt feelings.
First off, true Conservatives like Bird Dog, Barrie, NJ, the gang over at Hot Air and PJ Media, Power Line, Ace of Spades and all the rest would like to see that evil food stamps program shut down immediately. Because, as all good Conservatives believe, the best way to deal with poor people is to starve them to death.
Sure, Planned Parenthood spends less than 3% of its budget on abortions. Sure, none of it comes from taxpayers. Sure, the right wing has been lying their ass off to you when abortion mill are the first words to drip off their venomous fingers. So what! Despite their best efforts to close it down, it appears they have failed miserably in their plan to convince America that women should not be given free medical breast exams.
Well, after all that bad news, I suppose it's only right to finish up this section with a story about a cute little kitten and the crazy antics of its owners.
And if the cute little kitten lived! isn't a happy ending, then I don't know what is.
Political News
Maria Mitchell.
You know, Maria Mitchell! Hell, everybody's heard of her. First female American professional astronomer? That's her.
Oh, and an ardent feminist, I might add. For a left-leaning site like Google, she's the cat's meow.
And here's Ms. Mitchell being celebrated by them yesterday:
It was her 195th birthday, you see. Not her 192nd, not her 200th, but her 195th. It seems a tad apparent that some libber over at Google suddenly discovered this dame and just couldn't wait to get her name in highlights.
And here's how Google has celebrated the proud American holiday Memorial Day every year since they opened:
Obama thinks the United States has 57 states and that the Marine Corps is pronounced "corpse" yet I am not to think he's not a naturally born citizen of the United States?
Obama thinks there are 57 states - and he even stopped to think before he answered! Funny for a man who was supposed to have grown up in Hawaii! When will we get the truth about this man?
Not surprising considering he forgot to mention that 22 Congressional Democrats sided with the Republicans to delay the individual mandate. But this is the same man who thought America had 57 states. Clearly, counting isn't one of his strongest points.
Now, for hopefully the last time, let me be as persuasive as I can be:
President Obama does NOT BELIEVE THERE ARE 57 STATES!!
He believes there are 60.
Traveled to every corner of the United States = 57
Exciting news! As you might have heard, by utilizing the latest modern breakthroughs in global warming technology, the North Pole is now a stunningly beautiful lake!
this morning
next week
The water skiing is supposed to be fantastic, and the scuba clubs are going crazy because of the crystal-clear conditions. I don't think it would be an understatement to call it a 'tourist's paradise', and we all have global warming to thank.
Best yet, living there is free! According to international law, no one actually 'owns' beautiful Lake North Pole, so there won't be anyone there to charge you rent. Grab one of those pre-fab houses, throw the pieces on the back of a flatbed truck and you're ready to go!
Furthermore, I-
Wait, hold on a sec. The second page of the article just loaded.
Oops. Sorry about that. Turns out they weren't talking about the North Pole at all.
Exciting news! As you might have heard, by utilizing the latest modern breakthroughs in global warming technology, the Arctic Circle is now a sun-worshiper's paradise!
Pic and text from the article:
Norilsk - above the Arctic Circle - is known as one of the world's coldest cites, and is built on permafrost. Sunbathing picture was taken around Lake Baikal.
Frosty weather is a reality for 280 days a year. In summer time, average air temperatures are 14.6 degrees, before this year when Norilk finds itself in the furnace.
Sun-lovers around the world are already making plans, but you'd better hurry if you want to join in the fun as the Marriott Norilsk and Hilton Norilsk are already reporting they're booked for the next few months. I don't think it would be an understatement to call Norilsk a 'tourist's paradise', and we all have global warming to thank.
Best yet, living there is cheap! The local residents are always happy to earn a few extra rubles by renting out a room. As Vanya and Tonya (pictured above) said in the article, "We welcome the bloated imperialistic plutocrats from Amerika to join us in our Worker's Paradise!" I suggest you start making your moving plans today!
Furthermore, I-
Wait, hold on a sec. The second page of the article just loaded.
Oops. Sorry about that. Turns out they weren't talking about sunbathing at all.
Again, as I mentioned in the last AGW/NGC/ACW/NGW update, we're catching a hint of desperation in the air. The North Pole is melting! — except that the slush pond pic they splashed all over the Internet was taken over 300 miles south of the North Pole.
Yep, them changing weather patterns is finally here as verified by the bikini-clad sunbathers right there before your disbelieving eyes. Sure, the picture was taken what looked to be about 10,000 miles south of Norilsk — but never mind those pesky details!
Well, before we continue, let's make sure any new readers are up to speed on the marvelous variety of science-based global climate models we now have to choose from:
— If you believe the science, then it's obvious that Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW) is the villain.
— On the other hand, if you believe the science, then there's no question that Natural Global Cooling (NGC) is the true menace.
— However, if you believe the science, then it's quite apparent that Anthropogenic Chlorofluorocarbonic Warming (ACW) is the real threat.
— But, for those who believe the science, it's crystal-clear that Natural Global Warming (NGW) is what's really goin' on.
Again, it's all about the science, folks, and the wonderful options it provides.
The exciting news today is that responsible parties have finally stepped up and taken control of the problem, leaving all of those biased and subsidized "scientists" out in the cold — so to speak. I think we can all cheer that the issue has finally been removed from the political arena and that clinical, impartial pragmatists are finally in control.
The CIA is funding a study examining various ways mankind can geo-engineer the planet -- blocking or limiting the sunlight that reaches the Earth, stripping carbon dioxide from the skies, seeding the clouds and so on.
So they're keeping all options open, as good pragmatists should.
And they have the highest backing our nation can offer:
The project, a panel called “Geoengineering Climate: Technical Evaluation and Discussion of Impacts,” is backed by the National Academy of Sciences, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), NASA -- and the U.S. intelligence community.
Of course, the naysayers and doubters will come out of the woodwork and claim they're just doing it to make a bunch of fat-cat corporations happy, and, while true, at least they're right up front about it:
“All of our sponsors are interested in this topic as a part of the larger climate-change discussion,” he said.
As for why this smart group suddenly stepped to the fore to solve this difficult problem once and for all is easy to understand.
It's for the children.
A 2008 study by the National Intelligence Council concluded that climate change posted a serious threat to national security.
When your great-grandchild doesn't die because she accidentally locked herself out of the house for 35 minutes because she's living in what's been relabeled the Temperate Boiling Zone where a human being can only survive for roughly 30 minutes in the blazing heat, you'll have the CIA to thank for her deliverance.
So, to sum things up at this point:
— If you believe in AGW, then you're comforted to know that smart minds are finally stepping in to solve the problem.
— If you believe in ACW, then you're happy that the worst is over with.
— But if you believe in NGC, then you must be worried that the CIA is doing all it can to ensure the next ice age.
— And if you believe in NGW, then nothing anybody can do is going to make any difference and we're all doomed anyway.
So, on the good/bad meter, we're basically batting .500 at this point. On the other hand, that's good enough for the Hall of Fame.
Exhausted from his work with the Save The Whales Society, Bird Dog has decided to kick back for a few days and finally watch the final season of 'All My Children' on DVD. That Erica sure was hot, wasn't she? Who can blame him!
Sadly, this means I'll be doing the morning links through Monday. Unlike my own posts, where only urbane sophisticates with an intellectual bent are allowed to comment, the morning links are open to all walks of life, from the lowliest unwanted dregs of society (liberals, hedonists, Mac users) to wretched unwashed misfits (slobs, drunken reprobates, Chrome browser users) all the way to nutjob religious zealots (Two-Seed-In-The-Spirit Predestinarian Baptists, global warming alarmists), so it doesn't promise to be pretty.
I was going to fill in this spot with some interesting behind-the-scenes tidbits on a certain unruly commenter (I wouldn't want to mention any names, but I don't suppose it's giving too much away to say his name starts with the letter 'Z'), but he seems to have taken off for the nonce, so I won't waste our time. If he returns, I'll immediately issue a major bulletin warning everybody.
Also, as regular readers know, I can be a real blabbermouth quite prolific at times, and unfortunately I've taken this whole vacation thing way too seriously and currently have (cough!) twenty articles ready to go. Sorry about that. So plan on seeing a plethora of goodies over the next five days.
Switching gears about as radically as one can without suffering whiplash, let's talk about sex. Raw, naked sex. Flesh! That's what the hungry mob wants, and that's what the hungry mob shall have.
As a long-standing tradition when I take over the morning links for a few days, I'm opening up the infamous Maggie's Farm Smut Guide for the duration.
Finally! After years of bureaucratic red tape as the barred owls' lawyers fought in federal court to have them un-barred from polite society everywhere, a verdict has been reached and the appropriate death sentences will now be meted out. These barred animals simply have to learn their place!
So, along with curing athlete's foot, gout, lumbago, cancer, dandruff, diabetes, brain damage and other assorted ills, we can now add to the list...
According to the study, the potent plant usually known for causing the munchies might actually help people be thinner. Researchers looked at the effect of the drug on metabolic processes and discovered a correlation between smaller waist circumference and marijuana use.
The results showed that, in addition to being thinner, marijuana users appeared to be more healthy overall than those who have never used marijuana.
Studies are like statistics; always there when you need 'em!
And catch the misleading 'potent' part. Weed is the beer of the drug world.
"Smoke one bottle and call me in the morning."
And those kooky Brits are at it again. What will they think of next? You can almost hear the discussion over at Whitehall:
Sir Edmond Fitzbottom, 84-year-old Minister of Cultural & Moral Laws:
"Hey, I got a great idea! Let's ban pornography!!"
Collected septua-, octo- and nonagenarians:
"OKAY!!!"
Probably another one of those "Gosh, it looked so good on paper!" stories.
I'm not big on linking to left-leaning (delicate cough) "science" sites, but he nailed that one. If there was ever — and I mean ever — a case of 'learning from history', a blanket ban on porn would have to be near the top of the list.
If you're much into computers, the name 'John Dvorak' might ring a bell. I remember posting an article on him back in the late 80's on my BBS, so he's been around the block a few times. Being old and wizened, he obviously has had the time to thoroughly grasp life and whittle it down to its basic elements.
Dvorak's Law states: "The worse the economy, not only do the hookers get better looking, but they get cheaper."
So it's good to know he's keeping an eye on the important things.
He also begs... BEGS us not to buy or upgrade to Windows 8.1:
My advice? Stay far, far away.
And I heartily agree. I did a review on Win8 back when it was in beta and what few additions have come with 8.1 are more confusing than helpful. If you've heard they brought the Start Menu back, far from it. You can still use additional programs to iron most things out, but hunting down, installing and setting up 3rd-party programs is beyond the average user's grasp.
Stick with Vista or Win7, that's my best and only advice. When Microsoft discovers that there are still people out here using real, live desktop and laptop computers and brings back all of the standard stuff in Windows 9, we'll be more than happy to consider it.
And, hey, you have to admire ingenuity. You say you live way up north and your quaint little town is shrouded in darkness for almost half a year?
Every year, from September to March, this town is cast in perpetual darkness. Now, engineers will place three enormous heliostatic mirrors -- each measuring 538 square feet wide -- on the faces of the mountains surrounding the town. Commonly used on solar farms, the mirrors will adjust to the position of the winter sun and redirect its light onto the darkened town square.
Those mirrors will bring around 2,000 square feet of concentrated light to the area.
You got a problem, you solve it. That's just the way life works. And I guess the question that arises now is, so what's your town done for its residents lately?
Unfortunately, there's some sad news afoot. While it will come as good news to gluttons, food hogs and the American Society of Obese People, normal people who believe in the old adage 'moderation in all things' will find this particularly disturbing:
"I admit, I was surprised," said Judge Felding at the post-verdict news conference. "But when attorney Mark Dickerson pulled out that original handwritten copy of the Bill of Rights and pointed out that Ben Franklin had scribbled 'gluttony' in the margin next to all of those other rights, with a little arrow pointing out where it should be inserted in the text, well, there wasn't any more doubt that New Yorkers have the Constitutional right to be as fat as they want to be."
"We're excited by this ruling," said Marcia Blankenship, president of the American Society of Obese People. "We expect our dues-paying membership to triple in the next year!"
In other news, bulimia is still legal, but I suppose it's next.
Finally, on an upbeat, comedic note, we have this laff riot:
As you'd expect, these AGC people are firmly in the bag:
For the record, current carbon dioxide atmospheric concentrations are just shy of 400 parts per million. This table is related to the important issue of climate sensitivity which is generally defined as how much warming would eventually occur as a result of doubling carbon dioxide concentrations in the atmosphere.
These guys are just hysterical, aren't they? Still stuck in the old CO2 = Deadly Toxic Gas mindset with the only two variables being that the temp either goes up or down because of it.
Like I said, a laff riot.
Luckily, the sophisticated, urbane readers of Maggie's Farm (assuming that's not an oxymoron) are aware that good hard science now supports four vastly different climate models, giving each and every one of us the opportunity to choose for ourselves on this most critical of issues.
You probably heard about the Southwest airliner that broke its nose gear while landing at LaGuardia Airport last Monday. Like I presume most people, I figured the nose of the jet dropped down too hard after the rear wheels had set down, snapping the structure.
Not so!
I'm sure we're all grateful to hear that crashing upon landing is "not in accordance" with Southwest's usual procedures.
So, this raises a damn good question. How does the nose of a modern jetliner drop five degrees in four seconds? Pilot sneezed and accidentally pushed the steering wheel all the way forward? These things are so big and clumsy that I'm not sure even that would do it in a mere four seconds.
Here's the footage from nearby:
Must have been a real case of 'mixed emotions' for the Southwest passengers. "Oh, no, the plane's having a dire problem — but at least we're on the ground!"
Still, from a by-the-book 2-degree up angle to minus-3 degrees down angle in a mere four seconds is a real poser. I'll post an update if & when we hear word from the NTSB.
Finally! One thing we can all agree on is that last-minute Christmas shopping is a real drag. The crowds, the noise, the confusion, the cold sleet or snow because you're in the middle of goddamn winter — in short, it sucks.
When it comes to writing, I have a rule I made up a long time ago that's worked to perfection over the years, so I thought I'd pass it along.
The votes are in, the die is cast, the line's been drawn, the ball's in play and the table is set.
Well, let's start off on an upbeat note:
Speaking of history, we have this little phenomenon occurring for the first time in 10,000 years of human endeavor:
Now here's a real jaw-dropper: 
By the way, speaking of your probably-eminent death, in case you've been worried about that MERS virus that's sweeping the globe and is about a week away from stopping by your neighborhood, these two articles should clear things right up:
Well, let's get the ugly, sordid stuff over with first.
Exhausted from his work with the Save The Whales Society, Bird Dog has decided to kick back for a few days and finally watch the final season of 'All My Children' on DVD. That Erica sure was hot, wasn't she? Who can blame him!
Well, let's start off with some good news, shall we?
If you're much into computers, the name 'John Dvorak' might ring a bell. I remember posting an article on him back in the late 80's on my BBS, so he's been around the block a few times. Being old and wizened, he obviously has had the time to thoroughly grasp life and whittle it down to its basic elements.
