Praise be to Allah, the Divine and Cherished One!
In the name of al-Qaeda, we thank the infidels of the West for removing the largest obstacles in the path to attaining our glorious future World Caliphate, where Allah (Peace Be Upon Him) shall reign supreme forevermore.
Up to this point, our righteous path has been blocked by Saddam Hussein of Iraq, Muammar Gaddafi of Libya, Hosni Mubarak of Egypt and Bashar al-Assad of Syria. Thanks to the combined efforts of America's military, the European Coalition, NATO and America's right-wing bloggers, we have already disposed of three of these obstacles, with only one left to go. Although Iraq was briefly in Western hands, it shall soon be ours once again.
UN Says Over 800 People Killed in Iraq in August
Our special thanks go to sites such as Hot Air and PJ Media, who encouraged us at every step in both Libya and Egypt. Their constant praising of us as "rebels" and "freedom fighters" was especially encouraging to the troops in the field.
A blogger by the name of Walter Russell Mead recently wrote a very important article titled Why Syria Isn’t the Big Story This Week, which a number of bloggers, including Instapundit and Hot Air, linked to.
...to punish a bloodstained government for its use of chemical weapons against its own people.
Yes, that's who did it, Mr. Mead, as Assad's most mortal enemy, the Israeli Mossad, will helpfully corroborate.
He then goes on to describe how, even though the world might be in flames next week and you'll be paying $12 a gallon the week after that, the 'real story' was India's economy.
Again, we thank the West deeply for its support, praise be to Allah.
As for Syria, after our first successful gassing of the citizens (their martyred souls shall rise to Heaven, praise Allah!), the present plan is to wait until the perfunctory bombing begins, then stage another attack, blame it on Assad, then watch the bombing escalate to the point where he must relinquish the kingdom.
Even if the bombing fails to dispose of this tyrant, he will still be tremendously weakened, and we should have control of every city except Damascus within a few years.
At this point, it's only a matter of time.
Praise be to Allah, the Divine and Cherished One!
