We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
In the name of al-Qaeda, we thank the infidels of the West for removing the largest obstacles in the path to attaining our glorious future World Caliphate, where Allah (Peace Be Upon Him) shall reign supreme forevermore.
Up to this point, our righteous path has been blocked by Saddam Hussein of Iraq, Muammar Gaddafi of Libya, Hosni Mubarak of Egypt and Bashar al-Assad of Syria. Thanks to the combined efforts of America's military, the European Coalition, NATO and America's right-wing bloggers, we have already disposed of three of these obstacles, with only one left to go. Although Iraq was briefly in Western hands, it shall soon be ours once again.
Our special thanks go to sites such as Hot Air and PJ Media, who encouraged us at every step in both Libya and Egypt. Their constant praising of us as "rebels" and "freedom fighters" was especially encouraging to the troops in the field.
A blogger by the name of Walter Russell Mead recently wrote a very important article titled Why Syria Isn’t the Big Story This Week, which a number of bloggers, including Instapundit and Hot Air, linked to.
...to punish a bloodstained government for its use of chemical weapons against its own people.
Yes, that's who did it, Mr. Mead, as Assad's most mortal enemy, the Israeli Mossad, will helpfully corroborate.
He then goes on to describe how, even though the world might be in flames next week and you'll be paying $12 a gallon the week after that, the 'real story' was India's economy.
Again, we thank the West deeply for its support, praise be to Allah.
As for Syria, after our first successful gassing of the citizens (their martyred souls shall rise to Heaven, praise Allah!), the present plan is to wait until the perfunctory bombing begins, then stage another attack, blame it on Assad, then watch the bombing escalate to the point where he must relinquish the kingdom.
Even if the bombing fails to dispose of this tyrant, he will still be tremendously weakened, and we should have control of every city except Damascus within a few years.
I had the exact same thoughts when we invaded Libya, then later when Mubarak got ousted. Whose side are we on, anyway? If the whole goddamn Middle East is one nuclear-armed Caliphate in 20 years, we'll only have ourselves to blame.
I agree with Mr. H, that was just marvelous. And how fresh and honest the author was, to let us know what he was really thinking, not to mention thanking us deeply -- twice, no less. Makes ya kinda proud to know how well we've pitched in to make his dream come true!
Do you think al-Qaeda hats and jerseys are next? Go, team!
I couldn't believe Mead's article, either. The...Indian economy? Well, sure, that's on the tip of everybody's tongue. My cynical thought was that he'd gotten a nice fat check from the Syria Freedom League.
Anyways, cool post and cutely written. Loved the "troops in the field" remark. :)
I'm not sure who's guilty. I'd like to see proof. I remember the Sudanese aspirin factory. Never did see any evidence there.
I think it's asking too much to assume Assad wouldn't do something stupid. History is replete with dumb decisions, there's a whole category "Snatching Defeat from the Jaws of Victory".
I'm not even sure it's accurate to say he's "winning". Two months ago the story was the rebels were winning. As Assad was pushed back, his defensive position actually could become stronger. (Interior lines, massing of forces, abandonment of indefensible outposts) the rebels could have fallen victim to extended lines of communication, heavy casualties, fatigue and the problem of what to defend. Think of the problems faced by any advancing victorious army. From Napoleon to Eisenhower.
I'm still a no. But I'm open to evidence. Trust but verify.