The intro was pretty corny. Rather than just have the candidates walk onto the stage all at once, they introduced them one by one like baseball players at an All Star game. Batting third for the Boston Red Sox, catcher 'Mitt' Romney! It gave the audience a chance to pre-judge the candidates on the Applause-O-Meter. Er, this isn't supposed to be a popularity contest, CNN.
P.S. Cain won.
Uh-oh. I just caught Rick Perry in a big fat lie. He just said Obama's $800 billion stimulus plan created "zero jobs", but I've heard from reliable sources that it created forty-four jobs. It's typical of a politician to bend the facts like that for his own evil gain, isn't it? Forty-four is a lot more than zero. Anybody can see that.
Michele is looking really — dare I say it? — really hot tonight. Not Sarah Palin hot, mind you, but still hot. It looks like she changed make-up artists. She really needs to wear higher heels, though. About another ten inches would do it. Man, she's short.
Naturally, they put her right next to Romney, the tallest guy on the stage.
Then they (gasp!) had some lady sing the national anthem.
I quickly hit the mute button.
I flipped the sound back on just as host Wolf Blitzer yelled, "Play ball!"
News Flash: Newt actually used the term "special interests"! They don't call him 'Wild Man Gingrich' for nothin'. If he uses the word "entitlements", I might swoon.
After being ignored for the first 14 minutes of last week's debate, Bachmann got the first question tonight.
Hot.
I can't decide which idea is more insane — letting the states take over Social Security, or allowing young people to make their own Social Security financial decisions. I mean, over the long haul, states have an absolutely abysmal track record when it comes to handling their own finances (see appendix E, "California, Illinois and New Jersey, 2011"), whereas jumping to the wild conclusion that 30-year-olds will suddenly become financially responsible simply staggers the mind.
So it's a real puzzler.
It's hard to read between the lines, but it appears that Bachmann, Santorum and Paul are all in favor of children contracting measles, mumps and chicken pox. Polio, too, if I'm reading this right. That is, they seem to be decidedly against childhood vaccinations. Or, maybe it's just certain vaccinations they're against. Ones that, perhaps, present an opportunity where they can use the heart-wrenching phrase "killing little girls" over and over again. A vaccine that, perhaps, a certain Texan governor endorsed. It was a little hard to tell just which vaccines they were for or against, what with the foam and spittle flying.
Bachmann, however, "pulled a Perry" at one point by resorting to extremist rhetoric when she called the HPV vaccine "dangerous". She said this of an FDA-approved drug.
So, to sum things up so far, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke should be hanged for treason, Social Security is illegal, and the FDA is corrupt.
Not bad for a day's work.
At the one-hour mark, they finally let economics and the Fed drop and moved on to the nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat topic of...
health care.
"Thank god for coffee," was my first thought.
Nobody was acting very comedic tonight. Well, almost nobody.
Herman Cain was asked whether or not Social Security is a "Ponzi Scheme" and promptly replied, "I don't care what you call it — it's broken!"
First big laugh-applause of the evening.
News Flash: Jon Huntsman just used the word "entitlements"! This breakthrough in televised debate history is sure to go down in the books as unprecedented.
I wasn't hopeful that one of the candidates was going to note that focusing on Social Security and Medicare is distracting people from the real places where funds could be cut, but 'big thinker' Newt nailed it. People like talking about these two because they're known and handy, but they're ultimately a distraction.
If I were a Dem strategist, I'd be pushing the right wing to yak and talk and criticize SS and Medicare to death. Anything but turn their attention to the real (pet project) programs that could easily be dealt with. Did you see 'Lord of the Rings'? Remember how they had to distract the Dark Lord from the ring bearer as he made his way through the Swamps of Sadness and-, oh, never mind.
Somewhat surprisingly, one of the biggest bursts of applause in the middle of someone's answer was when Paul was listing out the (innumerable, incalculable) areas of government waste and uselessness that could be slashed and mentioned the Department of Education in passing. Big burst of applause. It surprised me that the audience would be that astute, but it was a Tea Party event, after all.
Along the same lines, the audience let out a big clap when Romney said the NRLB should be put in its place. It was cool of the audience to be up on the Boeing story. If someone came along and called it the biggest outrage in America today, I wouldn't argue the point.
When Paul goes off on one of his "Let's stop the military spending NOW!' rants, one thing he mentioned tonight might be kept in mind:
We spent one billion dollars building a mosque in Baghdad.
So, he kind of has a point.
I'm surprised at Ron Paul's choice in speech coaches. Whoever he is, he's doing a terrible job. He should hook up small shocking electrodes to certain delicate parts of Ron's body and then have him answer simulated debate questions, sending a sharp jolt down the wires every time his voice rises another octave. This type of learning technique can be very effective, and time is running short. If there's one thing that keeps Paul from looking and sounding presidential, it's his rising voice as he gets excited.
I think I'd part Michele's hair in the middle, then give her bangs for that cute pouty look. Maybe put on a little more eye liner. Maybe some coral fingernail polish and lip glo-
Sorry. Just thinking out loud.
Oops. Well, so much for Ron Paul's chances for the presidency. Good try, though. But that little thing on his web site last Sunday claiming we were responsible for 9/11 just didn't go over very well. That scoundrel and rabble-rouser Rick Santorum brought it up. Good tactic, Rick. One less opponent to worry about.
They're going to the last commercial break. And what fiery, burning subject will they tackle last? What final rousing speech will each candidate give as this event goes into the history books? Wait — they just announced it. They're going to discuss...
White House décor.
That is, what they'd bring to the White House, like a horseshoe pit or vegetable garden. Some of them just pandered, like Paul saying something like "A basketful of common sense!", whereas bike rider of 40 years Jon Huntsman said he'd be bringing along his hog and trail bike.
But, winning the audience's heart over for the eleventeenth time during these debates, Herman Cain said, "A sense of humor!" (big laughter and applause) "This country is too uptight and needs to loosen up!" Something like that. As I said in the first debate wrap-up, he and Newt have a great 'just one of the guys' feel about them. None of the other candidates even come close.
In summation, no question that again Romney looked the 'most presidential'. He's really got the mannerisms down pat. Carriage, posture, voice, bearing, the poker face when being asked a question — and then suddenly being the nicest guy in the room when asked what he'd bring to the White House and responding 'the most wonderful part of my life, my wife.' What a nice young man, grandmothers throughout the land thought at that moment.
Perry held his own, and will still be at the top of the polls, but I can already predict what some of the critics might say. One of the biggest accusations is that he 'isn't ready for the national stage', and 'what works for a state won't work for a country', and his constant reference to "what I did while governor of Texas" is starting to wear a little thin. He's sounding too 'state-oriented' for a national post. Huntsman is also guilty of this. For some bizarre reason, he thinks squeezing the word 'Utah' into every answer is actually a positive.
I thought Bachmann performed very well. She actually raised her voice a few times, the first time she's done that. I suppose a better way to put it is that she finally came across as impassioned. Full of conviction. People needed to see that. If she were actually elected, I think she could carry it off with aplomb. There's a lot of backbone there.
I'm sure it went unnoticed, but Newt Gingrich answered every single question handed him in a 'big picture' sort of way. He was asked the Ponzi Scheme question and dismissed it outright, noting that what this country needs is a shitload of jobs, all of which will dump a ton of money into the Social Security coffers and eliminate any immediate problem. While everybody else is talking about banal definitions, Newt isn't even talking about the subject.
If the question is, "Who sounded the most presidential?", I'd hand it to Romney first, Huntsman second, with Bachmann bringing up a close third.
But if the question is, "Who answered the questions from the most presidential viewpoint?", Newt wins hands down.
I said earlier that I was thinking of skipping the next debate, but this is starting to get interesting on a number of levels, not least of which is the re-vamped Michele Bachmann.
Perry/Cain 2012?
